Through nearly three decades dedicated to human development, since 1996 when I began my career in Human Resources, I have witnessed profound changes in the world of work and human relationships.
Among all these transformations, one stands out as particularly concerning: the gradual loss of genuine listening skills.
Listening is more than just hearing; it involves presence, attention, and empathy. However, the progressive digitalization, overexposure to screens, and the immediacy with which we communicate today have drastically altered our relationship patterns. Deep conversations have been replaced by brief messages, and reflective silences by constant notifications.
In this rush towards speed, we’ve lost the pause, gaze, and listening that connect us.
The Neuroscience Behind “I Understand You”
Mario Alonso Puig, a medical doctor and neurobiology behavior communicator, explains something fascinating: empathy isn’t just an emotional value; it’s a biological phenomenon.
When someone feels heard and understood, their brain releases oxytocin, known as the “trust hormone.” This substance directly acts on the amygdala, the brain structure activated by threats or stress.
When oxytocin appears, the amygdala calms down, the body stops defending itself, and the mind opens up. This moment is powerful; it not only improves communication but also generates what neuroscience calls “emotional resonance,” when our mirror neurons synchronize with others, creating an authentic connection that transcends words.
In other words, when someone genuinely says “I understand you,” the other person’s brain responds with well-being, calmness, and trust.
Listening is Not Solving, It’s Accompanying
In my experience, many leaders confuse listening with having solutions. However, empathetic listening does not imply solving another’s problem; it means holding space for them to express themselves without fear.
Sometimes, what’s needed isn’t a solution but a presence. A “I understand you” that doesn’t judge, interrupt, or correct.
It’s simply there. And it’s precisely this presence that transforms things, as behind every authentic conversation lies an invisible exchange of trust, respect, and emotional energy.
Listening, then, is a form of leadership: leading from empathy is leading from our most human brain.
Applying Neuroscience to High-Performing Teams
In an organizational context, this ability has direct and measurable effects.
High-performing teams aren’t built just with objectives, metrics, or incentives. They’re built on trust. And from a neurobiological perspective, trust emerges from emotional recognition: feeling that the other listens to, validates, and understands you.
When a team achieves this level of connection, their collective brain—yes, teams also have one—enters what researchers call an emotional coherence state.
In this state, members’ brain waves synchronize, favoring creativity, collaboration, and innovation. Ideas flow, differences are managed constructively, and energy focuses on progress, not defense.
The word “understand” spoken authentically becomes an invisible bridge uniting people, breaking ego barriers, and activating a shared neural network that multiplies performance.
Listening Transforms Cultures
Over the years, I’ve learned that organizations don’t change just with processes or structures; they change through conversations—those that reconnect people to their purpose, value, and others.
A genuine organizational culture is built from empathy and active listening. There’s no more powerful tool than a leader who knows how to say “I understand you” from the heart, as this phrase opens the door to trust, and trust paves the way for commitment.
In an increasingly noisy world, listening has become a conscious leadership act.
- Listen to understand, not to respond.
- Listen to connect, not to persuade.
- Listen to heal, not to control.
Every sincere “I understand you” has the power to mend a relationship, rebuild trust, and ignite collective potential. Because when people feel heard, they flourish. And when teams trust each other, results surpass imagination.
“I understand you” is not just a phrase; it’s a biological, emotional, and human key that unlocks the best in ourselves and others.
