Introduction
Apologizing, offering apologies, and showing remorse are deeply human gestures. Personally, I believe it’s better to err on the side of excess than fall short. An opportune and sincere “I’m sorry” can resolve misunderstandings or prevent a discussion from escalating in both personal and professional relationships.
Remorse and Reconciliation
Remorse appears to be a constant in human nature, except as Dante suggests when we’ve reached Heaven. In the Divine Comedy, Purgatory is an intermediary space where repentant sinners atone for their offenses before reaching Paradise. Here, punishments are not definitive but redemptive. The angel guarding Purgatory’s entrance makes it clear: one can only enter with the keys of remorse and reconciliation.
During my law studies, I debated intensely about the purpose of punishment. One influential author at that time was Claude Roxin, a proponent of the rehabilitation theory: the idea that punishment should serve to reintegrate offenders into society.
This idealistic and humanist view has inspired legal frameworks, such as Spain’s 1978 Constitution. However, time, experience, and extensive critical literature on prison conditions have generated skepticism about the system’s actual capacity for rehabilitating prisoners.
Alternative Theories to Rehabilitation
- Utilitarianism: Understands punishment as a form of deterrence—to discourage others from committing crimes or to prevent recidivism. In its extreme form, this approach allows for modulating sanctions based on their social impact. For instance, fining a public figure more severely could serve as an example. Though effective, this model can border on arbitrariness: justice should be equal for all.
- Retributivism: Based on communitative justice—he who harms must pay, he who lacks must atone. It’s the logic of “an eye for an eye.” This view may sound harsh, but it offers something the other models don’t fully guarantee: a clear moral foundation. In a sense, it’s the only one that answers the question “Does this person deserve punishment?” Because, although rehabilitation is desirable, there are cases—like that of Hannibal Lecter in fiction—where it seems impossible.
Rehabilitation, Deterrence, and Proportionality
Interestingly, Dante’s Purgatory contains elements of all three approaches. The general aim seems to be purification, or spiritual rehabilitation. However, there’s also a pedagogical intention, almost utilitarian, to warn the living. Moreover, there’s retaliation, as the punishments are symbolically linked to the committed sin. The proud carry heavy stones, the envious have their eyes sewn shut. Each sin has its punishment.
This raises an intriguing question: Does every soul purge all its sins or only the most dominant? What happens to those who have cultivated multiple vices? Human experience shows we rarely sin through a single path. The logic of Purgatory seems to acknowledge this: one climbs from ledge to ledge, confronting various forms of guilt.
What distinguishes Purgatory from Hell is not sin but remorse. In Hell are those who never repented. But how many could genuinely endure the punishment without retracting, even if only hypocritically? Wouldn’t Hell encourage hypocritical pretense? This is one reason why some theologians and philosophers have questioned the proportionality of eternal punishment versus a limited life.
Collective Remorse
Beyond the individual, remorse also has a collective dimension. In recent decades, we’ve witnessed institutions asking for forgiveness: from the Church for condemning Galileo to nations for their colonial or slave-holding past.
However, these public apologies don’t always achieve their goal as they’re perceived more as political gestures than moral ones. Public repentance has its own rules and doesn’t always foster reconciliation.
Corporate Remorse
In the corporate world, forgiveness is also gaining prominence. Executives—more exposed than ever to scrutiny from shareholders, clients, and society—are learning that asking for forgiveness doesn’t weaken leadership but strengthens it, especially if they’ve failed in their ethical duties or negatively impacted their surroundings. Just as in personal relationships, humility and transparency are key.
However, I’m particularly interested in individual remorse, especially in professional contexts where the fast pace, result-oriented pressure, and digital communication increase the likelihood of misunderstandings. I’ve seen business conflicts arise from a poorly interpreted email. In many cases, direct and honest apologies are most effective—not only solving the problem but also building moral authority.
According to U.S. studies, the primary source of regret for Americans is not seizing educational opportunities. Following that are work, romantic relationships, and family. It’s striking how education emerges as the greatest source of regret. Perhaps because it’s the engine driving many other decisions. Also, education requires time, effort, and perseverance—rare commodities in adult life.
This suggests we should take continuous learning very seriously, not just as a professional tool but also as an emotional antidote. Those who learn improve, and those who improve live with fewer regrets. In this sense, it’s surprising that Dante doesn’t give more prominence to education in his vision of Purgatory.
Reasons for Remorse
- Company Changes: Sometimes, change is overvalued as a path to progress. Some consultants promote it as a rule: if there’s no promotion in three years, it’s time to move. However, staying, if accompanied by solid performance, can offer more opportunities. I know more people who regret leaving their company than staying.
- Unutilized Opportunities: In investment decisions, new products, or initiatives, regret usually comes from omission rather than action. It’s a deeply ingrained entrepreneurial logic: risking is better than regretting not trying.
- Relationships with Colleagues: Hiring poorly, dismissing doubtfully, reprimanding publicly, or ignoring justified requests are decisions that leave a mark. Professional life shouldn’t be hostile. When decisions affect others, it’s advisable to communicate with empathy and respect.
Finally, cognitive psychology reveals a telling pattern: the more options, the greater the chance of regret. Those without choice don’t blame themselves. Those with many options live with the doubt of whether they chose the best. It’s a price we pay for freedom.
